#NUMBER 148ONEHUNDRED&FORTYEIGHT
Wolfmother(the band) sound like what you would get if Ozzy Osbourne and Jamiroquai were made of mercury and melted and then reformed into one super being much in the way of that robot with the number name from the second Terminator flick melts and reforms. I love the Terminator films. I love Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest! Jerry Bruckheimer really knows what he is doing. And so does the person who thought to mix blueberries and green tea! Wicked awesome beverage it is! Though the idiot who designed the container is well… an idiot. It took using pliers to open it. Thankfully my father took over. I sort of rubbed my hands raw trying to open it.

Oh August ninth, two-thousand and six, I became the proud uncle of Destiny (Tiny) Diane Jas Kerbrat. She is so cute and has such tiny little fingers! Long, but tiny! She’s so sweet, and she has her daddy’s ears, and she only cries when he holds her… It shouldn’t be, but it’s terribly funny. I have unfortunately only seen her once so far, which is making me crazy, but I am sure once mommy is recouped, she will bring her around. That or my mother will kidnap her. She does such babynappings frequently.

In other news, I saw Mr. Mathew Good. It was spectacular. He was witty and funny and read from Worst Case Scenario books. He also spoke about that hate spreading, anorexic bitch we all know and love, Ann Coulter. It was pretty cool that he remembered the town and reminisced about the local bar, The Generator. But yeah, he was brilliant. He performed alone, and it was uber swell! The lights kept going out though, so some guy had to help him out by holding a flashlight every once in a while. The sky was gorgeous that night. There were a few coloured lights shining up into the tree canopies and they were stunning… when they were on.

None of the street lamps on my street light up at night anymore, which is cool for stargazing, but terrifying when random people deliver the newspaper at 3 bloody A-M. I didn’t know who would be at my step at 3am, so I got my dad to check it out. Cause I’m strong and manly!

Also, CONGRATULATIONS SETA & JOSH! They were happily married on the twelfth. I didn’t remember until literally an hour before the ceremony though. The reason lies within the events of the night before.

The previous night Diondra and Naomi kidnapped me. Ally joined us, and soon we were off getting rum that turned out to be vodka and champagne. Once again, the sky was absolutely phenomenal. For about half an hour Naomi and I sat and chatted alone drinking the champagne and admiring the shooting stars that turned out to be a meteor shower. When were rejoined we played on an elementary school playground and sang Spice Girls. We were offered donuts by Shane West, and eventually we were nearly run over by Tanner, Mitch, Jamie, and Chris. We ran. They ran too. And we were left with a straggler. Actually, we were expecting him. Yes, Jamie joined us.

Soon Diondra found herself wanting a bed to sleep in, so we retuned her to her mother, and continued on. We were going to take Jamie home, but none of us were ready for sleep just yet. So, instead we went to yet another elementary school playground and played, and some peed. It seemed totally normal at the time to pee down the staircase! (I didn’t do it) OH! There were these sweet monkey bars that from now on whenever I find myself intoxicated I want to sit on. Watching shooting stars and the moon and the haunting clouds from up there was magnificent!

Eventually we got bored and lost Ally, so once we found her, we made our way down to Wilson Park, where we all rested on the riverbed and watched more shooting stars and the sunrise.

After a bit we went on a voyage to take Ally home. We stopped at another playground, this time in a park, and admired the sunrise. There was a gentle pink wash straight across the whole sky, and then little blue blotches going in lines perpendicularly. The blue clouds had a rapidly growing neon pink edge that was breathtaking. And then it was gone. In literally a second, all the pink edges vanished. We were all like, “WTF! Where did it goooo!?! DO we be CRAzZzZy?”

Yeah, and then we split with Jamie, so Naomi and I slept at my house. We made blueberry pancakes when we woke, and then I remembered the wedding. It was chaos. In an hour we ate, I got Keri and Kathleen forewarned, and we got there, in suit! Oh yes!

Katie moved into her new apartment. I love. Also, I saw AJ for the first time in a long time. Or so it seems. Miss the kid I do. And I got a book In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot by Graham Roumieu. It’s so funny. Here are my favourite poems that make me happy:

LOVE IS SAD
Man on funny car
Me love!
Want for Bigfoot wife
One day me catch
Try make baby
But you head collapse
Like sock full of eggs
Me Cry
Birds cry too
Me sad

Stop, Smell Rose
Where you go
Man on Road?
Why you run
When me want to talk?
You manners bad
So me learn you good
Tear off legs
So no more run. :)

Riding Bike
Tree is gone
So is bike
Bike Chained to tree
Some me stral truck
Back into you
While you ride me bike.
You could scream help
But me eat you face.

Do you know what else makes me happy? Gorgeous transsexual male asian singing dancing sensations! That’s what!

Lady ~ Lady’s Night

I have no idea what they are saying, but the music is so catchypopsuperhappyfuntime that I really don't even care!

I know, I know, everyone hates when blogs become nothing but videos, but I am sorry, I simply must share all this awesomeness!

If you are in need of a ridiculously hard laugh, click HERE

And in honour of the catchy late summer hit song and interweb favourite movie, I give you:


"We need to get these mutha fuckin’ words off my mutha fuckin’ shirt!"

And finally,

I figured Craig would get a kick out of this:

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net